Lee Hoover » My Deployment

The 5 Stages of a Deployment

Lee Hoover — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:31:13 +0000

Well, I’m home. I’m finally here in San Antonio, with Steph, and I have to admit there is no other place in the world I’d rather be. I am once again reminded that I am easily THE luckiest guy in the world.

Now that I am done with my deployment, I figured I would share what I have come to call the five stages of a deployment. I’m not a doctor and this isn’t a scientific conclusion, but it’s accurate as to my experience and I believe to the experience of others. Whenever anybody asks me how it was I usually share the “five stages” because that’s honestly how I felt. So here they are. The Five Stages of a Deployment. As I see it.

1. Denial

Maybe it’s because you haven’t taken it all in yet, but the first few days of a deployment you actually feel as if it’s going to be easy. At first glance around you begin to tell yourself, “This isn’t that bad.” You begin to feel as if the time will go by before you can say, “this sucks…” And for a few weeks you actually believe yourself.

2. Depression

Welcome to reality. This is where you realize you were wrong, it is that bad and you’ve just begun. Days start crawling. You start looking ahead to the time you leave and realize how far away it is. You hang your head and try to focus on your job….anything to get your mind off the people you miss and the number of days until you see them again.

3. Acceptance

Sooner or later we, as humans, become accustomed to whatever we are faced with, wherever we are. In the acceptance stage, which is the longest of the five stages, you come to accept the situation you’re in and decide to make the best of it. You feel like everything is going to be a-ok. Things aren’t that bad! The showers are dirty, but they could be worse. The food isn’t that bad. At least there’s a lot of down time. And hey, there’s email. You might even believe you actually like the place.

4. Confusion

Confusion sets in about 1 1/2 to 2 months out. You begin to realize your time is almost up, so you get excited. Yet you have to remind yourself you still have two more months, so try not to get excited. After awhile you don’t know how to feel. Should I be excited? Should I avoid the excitement so the time doesn’t start crawling? Personally…I did my best to avoid the excitement…but it wasn’t easy.

5. Joy

It’s over, and you’re on your way home. The last week of the deployment, including the travel home, is purely joyful. Good luck wiping the smile off your face. Anything can break, anything can go wrong, who cares. You don’t mind having to dump all your bags out for customs to sift through. You don’t mind having to travel 40 or more hours just to get home. Nothing matters. Soon you’ll be home and your smile shows it.

So there you go…the five stages of a deployment. If you have to deploy, expect them. Overall I’d say the deployment was a good thing. It was a good experience, it was good for me to save money, it was good for me to see that part of the world and work in that environment, it was good. I’m just glad to be home and done with it.

3…2…1…

Lee Hoover — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:37:47 +0000

It’s getting close; I’m finally coming to the end of this deployment. It’s literally become a 3, 2, 1 countdown. I leave in three days…and I couldn’t be any happier.

I’ve learned a lot during this deployment. I’ve learned how and how not to be a manager. This was the first chance I’ve had to be an manager on a larger scale and I think I did a good job. I definitely did some things wrong, if I could do them again differently I would, but for the most part I think I was successful. The biggest thing was learning how to deal with all the egos that run rampant in my career field. Eventually you just learn to ignore it, or laugh at it. It is actually fairly funny.

I’ve also learned how to deal with poor management. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t. If we ever talk in person, ask me about it and I’ll tell you. Just be prepared to hear me out for an hour or so…

I could say I improved my adaptability to certain things. It’s amazing what you become used to after living in a place like this. Dust becomes your best friend. Fashion becomes non-existent and unimportant. The toilets…well, I won’t even talk about the toilets. I’ll just say your hygiene standards drop…low. The showers are just as bad. But again, ask me about it sometime and I’ll tell you…

There are things I’m going to have to re-learn when I get back. Like how to write for one. This place isn’t really conducive for writing, so I guess that’s why I haven’t written much here on my site. I haven’t written anything to be honest. I’m hoping I can get back into the groove once I get home. It’s just one of the many things that get put on hold when you deploy I guess. Like your love life…which I am oh so looking forward to getting back to…

Anyways, here are some numbers from the deployment that I thought I would share:

And I think that’s it. Like I said, I have lost the touch for writing, but I wanted to give folks an update. Hopefully I’ll be talking to you in person soon! I’ll be home in San Antonio on the 5th of July.

23 Days and Counting

Lee Hoover — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:58:39 +0000

Today marks twenty three days from the day I arrive in San Antonio. What can I say other than I’m stoked. Very stoked. Too stoked actually, because now I am counting the days. The problem with counting is you can’t count fast enough. A number every twenty four hours doesn’t cut it…it’s too slow, too long…

That’s not really the reason I’m writing though. I figured today was a good day to pass on an update on the happenings around here. Plus, I was getting a bit sick of looking at the belly on the home page…it had to go.

One thing I haven’t done a lot of is reading. I’ve been reading the current book, In the Heart of the Sea, for two and a half weeks now, and I’m only half way through. It’s not that the book is bad, it’s actually really good. I think I’ve just hit a reading wall. After 21 books in 6 months it was bound to happen. I’ve also found other things to do…

My PSP Has Been A Lifesaver

For example..

I spent two days fixing my computer, which I’m happy to report is fixed…and better than before. A buddy of mine (Chris Vadnais), sent me the discs I needed to fix it and fortunately I was able to figure it out. I was scared for a bit, thought I had lost all my files, but to make a long story short, I didn’t. Now it’s up and running with the latest software, so I’m good to go.

I’ve become quite addicted to my PSP, specifically one game: FIFA 2008. (It’s a soccer game) I’ve gone through three seasons as the manager of Juventus and I’m kicking some bucku butt. I don’t know if I’ll ever put it down. It might just be the best gift in the world.

And…

I did the smart thing and paid an extra 15 bucks this month to get international cable, which I’m using to watch one thing: The Euro Cup. In my opinion it’s the second greatest sporting event in the world behind only the World Cup. The games start at 8:30pm and 11:15pm here, so I’m up past 1:30 every night, but it’s worth it. If you’re not into soccer (futbol) I highly recommend sitting down and watching one of these games. The emotion and excitement in soccer can’t be topped…I promise. I’ve already passed on my addiction to three or four guys here… If I had to pick a winner, I’d say Portugal, but I’m throwing my support behind Turkey and the Netherlands. I know Turkey doesn’t have a shot, but I’d love to see them win…

The PSP and the Euro Cup have kept me busy during my downtime, hence the lack of reading. Plus, I’m still taking two classes and heading to the gym as much as I can so I’m staying busy.

Not busy enough to stop counting though, I still have time to count…by the way, I’m on 23…still.

Sick With Excitement

Lee Hoover — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:51:18 +0000

So, this is the week I’ve decided to get sick. I say “decided” because I like to feel as if I had a say in the matter. I didn’t. To be honest, I’m actually quite surprised this is the first time I’ve been sick since I’ve been here. In case you didn’t know: I’m allergic to dust, and this place is like the Times Square of dust mites. So the fact that this is the first time I’ve gotten sick since I’ve been here is amazing in itself (if you could see the bathrooms you’d be even more shocked).

I’m not totally out of it. I can still get around; I’m still working. I just use nose spray a lot and have kleenex with me all the time. Plus I sound funny when I talk. The worst part is sleeping. When your nose is all stuffed up you’re forced to sleep with your mouth open, which means when I wake up my mouth feels like a vaccuum bag. Who knows what crawls in there. I spend most of the night trying to get whatever it is down. It’s hard to swallow on a dry throat.

That’s the only bad news I have to report. Everything else is going smooth, it’s exciting even. The good news is I am no longer stressed out and, so far, the month of May has gone by pretty fast. I have a little over a month and a half and I’ll be out of here.

Other good news to report:

Honeymoon Locale

- I am completely out of debt…and actually the dollar signs in black are starting to pile up nicely. Which means Steph and I should be able to have a nice Honeymoon in Hawaii without going back into debt…which is the goal.

- We have an apartment reserved for when I get back. It is in the same complex I lived before, which is a very nice place. It’s a two bedroom, spacious apartment where I’ll be living alone for a few months until after the wedding. Then it will become a much better place to be. They have a pretty cool swimming pool, so I’m pretty stoked about it.

- I started my 20th book since I’ve been here. My goal was to read 12, so I think I’m doing alright. Middlesex (the 19th) was the best one I’ve read so far. It’s an amazing book and I’d recommend it to anyone.

So things are on the up and up. Now if I can just get rid of this cold and get out of this dust hole I’ll be alright.

El Stresso de Mayo

Lee Hoover — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:27:45 +0000

I Feel A Little Bit Like This

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, I want two things: A piñata hung up in front of me, and a bat in my hands. It would have to be strong piñata, one that wouldn’t break with only a couple strikes; it will take more than a couple to get rid of the stress. I don’t care what’s in the piñata, it wouldn’t be for me. I just want to be the guy to break it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an aggressive guy. I don’t anger easily. But for some reason, little things are driving me crazy. It’s similar to being poked in the arm when you’re stricken with a fever. Every little poke, or prod, drives me crazy. I want to scream, “Get away from me!” or “Leave me alone!” or just plainly: “Aaaahh!”

Maybe it’s the malaria pills. I have been told they make you go a little crazy. Or maybe it’s the fact that the 101st Airborne Division is driving me nuts with all their rules and changes. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it means nothing to them. It could be the super slow (if it works at all) internet I pay $70 a month for, or the phone lines that cut out every time I try to talk to Stephanie. It could be that my work computer freezes on me every five minutes, or one of the countless other things I’ve complained about in previous posts. It could be any of those things, maybe it’s all of them put together, or maybe I’m realizing I can only make the best out of every situation for so long…sooner or later you realize how dumb the situation really is.

I don’t like feeling like this. I’m much better as a happy-go-lucky guy with a constant smile on my face and I know in a few days I will, once again, be one. I’ve been stressed out before and it always goes away. Until then, I just need to relax alone, take a couple breaths, and tell myself over and over and over again: two more months, two more months, two more months…

Accustomed

Lee Hoover — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:42:18 +0000

I was thinking today about how, as humans, we can adapt to any situation. It’s not something we’d like to do; at first we’d hate it, even be scared of it, but after a while we’d deal with it, survive in it, even thrive in it. Maybe it’s because I’m reading a book about a boy having to go through a similar situation, but for a while I was mesmerized by this idea. Then I realized that I myself am dealing with the same thing, although admittedly on a much smaller scale.

When I first got here I hated this place, it wasn’t comfortable….but now, unfortunately or not, I’m accustomed to living here. Whereas before I lived in an apartment, slept in my own bedroom on a queen sized bed, used a private indoor bathroom two feet from my room, drove anywhere I wanted to in my own vehicle, and spent as much time as I could with a beautiful woman by my side…now I live in an 8×6 plywood room, sleep in a sleeping bag, use a public toilet two blocks from my room, have to walk everywhere, and spend all my time with guys who are just as ugly as me. That’s just the way it is. Oh, and I also now eat with plastic silverware and wear nothing but a military uniform everyday. My point is, if there is one, that I used to hate this place, heck I still kind of do, but now I’m used to it. It is what it is. I am accustomed.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. I admittedly can’t wait to get out of here, so I can’t say I enjoy it. I can say, however, that it’s getting easier…and even better: it’s almost over.

Scary Scenes in Scary Dreams

Lee Hoover — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:45:37 +0000

The last few nights I’ve had a recurring scary dream. I suppose you could even call it a nightmare, or a night terror; the fear I feel when I wake up is that real.

It always starts out the same. I’m in some random place, passing the time with friends when all of the sudden I feel the urge to use the restroom. I make my way to a bathroom, sometimes on the run, desperately looking for any place to pee. And when I find it…I go. I pee in my dream. And then I wake up.

This is serious, waking up in your bed after dreaming you just went to the bathroom is the scariest thing you will ever wake up to. Can you imagine my horror? My “check” in and around my sleeping bag? It’s frightening, I promise.

I guess that’s what happens when you spend half the night “holding it”. You have to walk half a block to use the bathroom around here. Given the choice between waking up, putting on shoes, and walking in the cold to the port-a-potty or just staying in bed and hoping for the best…I always choose the latter. I choose sleep. I choose dreams. Dreams where I pee.

In case you’re wondering, no, I have not wet my bed…yet. Although if I don’t stop drinking water…who knows. Now, that’s scary.

Two Months Down…

Lee Hoover — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 16:54:51 +0000

Hanging Out In My Room

Four Months to go.

Ugh, four has never felt like such a large number. Although I’m happy to report that I’m finally starting to get used to this place. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to get out of here, but I figure since I have four months left I should probably try to enjoy it.

Work is work, which is all I ever really do around here. I’m discovering that being a ‘manager’ is never that fun. Managing the work is never as good as actually doing it. At least not in my career field. Of course as soon as I had to actually do the work, I would probably turn around and say the exact opposite. The grass is always greener.

I’ve decided to try and get buff while I’m here. Now, I realize this will most likely not happen, but I figure I might as well try. It’s not like I don’t have the time. I go to the gym every day here and struggle to lift up my ten pound dumbbell. Soon i hope to lift the fifteen pounder. So far, I’ve gained five pounds, all muscle baby…at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I’ve discovered that there is no spring in Afghanistan. Just three weeks ago I was struggling to stay on my feet in the snow and ice, and now all my jackets are put away and I’m struggling to keep from breaking a sweat on my walk to the chow hall. Today’s high was 67, and it’s supposed to get warmer soon.

I enrolled in a couple online classes, which begin next Monday. I’m excited to start those because even though we spend a lot of time working, once you leave the place there isn’t much else to do but sit around and read. And read I have. I’ve finished seven books in two months. I still have plenty more to go. I’ve started writing book reviews and posting them on my blog here. They’re not that good, but it’s fun to try and write them anyways.

I recently started a bible study with folks from work. It was something I wanted to do when I got here, and although it took me a while to finally start the ball rolling, it’s rolling smoothly now. I originally wanted to do it one night a week, but all of us who do it decided to do it twice a week, which is more than ok by me. I’ve really felt my walk with Christ strengthen the last couple weeks, maybe that’s why things are looking up.

What Boredom Looks Like

I talk with Stephanie on the phone at least once a day, sometimes twice. I miss her like crazy, but what’s new? She’s amazing and is doing a great job planning the wedding. As far as the planning goes, it’s probably a good thing that I’m here. I would probably just get in the way by offering a dumb idea. It’s best to just let her do it…at least she knows what she’s doing, I don’t.

And that’s pretty much it. Life is never exciting here, but for some reason it hasn’t been dull either. I’m looking forward to coming home.

Four months and counting…

Outside the Gate

Lee Hoover — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:42:37 +0000

Click to Enlarge

So, today was my first chance to go ‘outside’ the gate here in Afghanistan. I can’t really say much other than it was definitely interesting. I’ve never been to a place where the term “3rd World Country” is actually an understatement. I’ve never heard of the term 4th world, but if there is one, that’s Afghanistan.

We passed through villages where houses were made out of rock or bad firewood. The majority of kids don’t go to school, so they have nothing to do but roam. I saw six year olds holding on to one year olds: babies babysitting babies. All the kids want stuff, which wasn’t surprising. They’ll ask for anything, and take anything and consider it treasure. I gave away pens, and the kids wanted more pens. Pens. I’ve never looked at a pen as something valuable, but I suppose when you have nothing at all, a pen becomes something.

Handing Out Pens

One of the sad things I noticed was the way kids are treated by the adults and the way little girls are treated by the little boys. As we were hanging out with some of the kids, an older gentleman came to ’shoo’ them away so they would stop begging for stuff. The gentleman chased the kids away and once they got to a certain point he picked up rocks and threw them at the kids. He threw rocks at kids! And from what I’m told, that’s normal.

Also, women are treated poorly here, even from a young age. The boys literally beat up on the girls. If a girl is given something that a boy wants he isn’t afraid to beat her up for it. Although, at a young age, a girl is willing to fight back, which was a good thing. Today a boy tried to wrestle a girl and take away her dollar and a bottle of water, but the girl fought back. I think she won. She left with the dollar anyways.

The best part was the kids. The little girls were really cute and funny. I’m sure if I had to deal with their begging everyday it might get old, but today it was just fun. The girls were laughing and joking and having a good time. It’s sad to think of what will happen to them in the years to come.

Me and a Little Afghan Girl

Overall, today’s trip outside the gate made me realize how lucky I am to be an American. I could use the term thankful, which I am, but lucky seems to work better. Somebody in my lineage, a long time ago, decided to move to America and start their family there, and because of that I am fortunate to have all the things I have: freedom, money, opportunity, equality. It’s not like we can decide to be from somewhere, we just are. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that. And for that I consider myself lucky.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Lee Hoover — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 14:52:31 +0000

I don’t understand that song anymore, it’s driving me crazy. Seriously, the lyrics are confusing.

“A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland.” What??

Even more confusing is the last part:

“We’ll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, walking in a winter wonderland.”

When I hear that, I picture two people having the time of their lives frolicking through the snow, maybe throwing a few snowballs at each other, just to keep the laughter rolling. But that isn’t what it’s really like when you’re walking in a winter wonderland.

In a real winter wonderland, you can’t “frolic”…you have to walk gingerly, every step is a precise placement of the foot because you know one wrong move means your rear end is going to forcefully meet the ground below.

Case in point:

The last few days there has been a lot of snow here, and a lot of cold weather. Which, to me, means this base has turned into what the song so glowingly calls a Winter Wonderland.

Yesterday, there I am trying to walk through this wonderland, taking every step as slow as I can, my arms straight out at my sides as if I’m about to take off on flight, and then it happens:

Uh Oh! Woah! Crap! %&#*! BAM! My rear end says hello to the pavement.

Of course, first thing I do, before I even think about getting up, is look around to see if anybody noticed. And, of course, here comes my witness. He offers the obligatory, “Are you alright?” And then just to rub it in says, “Man, that could happen to anybody around here.” What he’s really thinking is, “What a loser…”

And so I make my way to my feet and slowly continue on to my location, all the while doing my best to continue on as if I find it funny. But, it’s not. There really is nothing funny, or fun, about walking around in a Winter Wonderland.

It’s been like this for a few days now and I honestly can’t wait for the sun to melt everything away. I’m looking forward to taking a few fearless steps, walking in a Winter Wonderland is just not fun.

That song is a lie. I hate that song.

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