My Life

I think I have discovered my one true passion in life. Perhaps it’s my calling, or my final answer to what I want to be when I grow up. It might sound crazy, but this is a pretty big deal for me. It takes a while to nail these things down when you suffer a bit from ADD. If I become interested in something on one day, two weeks later it will be something else. That’s the way my mind has worked ever since I was a child.

The good thing is I’m fairly decent at a variety of things. I can play soccer pretty well; I can play the drum set. I can even mess around on a piano and play a few chords on the guitar. I speak Spanish, very un-fluently. I can build a simple website, take decent pictures, and edit some video when I need to. These are all things I thought I could be someday and I’m pretty good at them all, but I’m not really good at any of them. I want to be a really good writer.

Perhaps this doesn’t come as a surprise to you. After all, I’m in the process of writing a book, right? Right. But I suppose there is a difference between sitting down to write a book and becoming a really good writer, a successful one even. A lot of people have said they plan to write a book, and I’m sure I am only joining the masses by saying so myself, but I want to do more than that. I want to actually set my mind to something, stick with it, and be patient enough to take the necessary steps to get there. And by there, I don’t mean writing a book, but becoming a really good, successful, writer.

The last few days I’ve had a lot of doubts of my abilities to become a good writer. I’ll read something by an author I admire and realize my own abilities pale in comparison. I suppose it’s like wanting to play in the NBA, but realizing you can only shoot a granny shot. I’ve looked at some of my stuff and considered changing it to make it more marketable, more normal, perhaps more aww-like. I’ve even thought about ripping it all up and forgetting about it. But I’ve prayed a lot the last couple days and have asked God to push me if I need pushing and to guide me because my sight is unfortunately cloudy. Today I feel His push, His guidance.

I don’t know what this all means. I don’t know if I’ll ever publish a book or get one of my essays in a magazine, but I know my goal is to become a good writer; scratch that…my goal is to become a really good writer, even if nothing ever gets published. I hope I get there. I know that not all NBA players started out shooting granny style, but I’d be willing to bet some did. They just had to work harder to get where they are. I can do the same, I plan on it…as long as I don’t change my mind.